April 19th, 2012 (12:08 am)
Today, Wednesday 18 of April,

I visited you after knowing you had a fall couple of days ago.
I thought it was just another
day but no.
It makes me realize how old you have becomes.
How weak you are now when I have to carry you up from bed.
How the uncles and aunties were talking about you in front of you.
How horrible you have been. How stubborn you have been.
The will, the daycare.
I see the sadness yet confusion in you.
I see the happiness of you at the same time too.
When I feed you, cutting your nails, accompany you to bed, trying to coax you to sleep and you asking me the same question twice was when i knew you couldn't really remember what you have said or happened.
But thank god that you didn't forget who i am.
I see through your eyes laying and holding your hands right beside you and chatting with you.
You said you missed me and a gust of guilt came right through me.
You swipe my hair to the side and "sayang" my forehead and I felt so warmth yet sad at the same time.
I don't know if you know that I kept crying and was trying my best to hold back my tears.
I just couldn't control myself.
When I used to take you for granted when I was young. When you still have the ability to quarrel with me.
But now, I see a different you over time.
Time makes you lose the youth and energy that you once have.
Time makes you forget stuffs at times.
Please stay strong and healthy.
I will try my best to get my license as soon as possible to bring you around for nice food and enjoy the scenery and all.
I am sorry for neglecting you ever since college.
Years after years;
Never once have I not remind myself to cherish you and I still cherish you very much.
I love to see you smile as always.
I love you so much grandma.
I really do.
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